I Don't Love You
by Gerkyhen
Summary: He didn't deserve her. Everyone had been aware of that fact, except for him, but he was made aware of it on that night. Prompt from Indecisive-Ays.


I Don't Love You

Cold, crisp night air; Rocket breathed it in through his nose and then returned it through his mouth, watching as a mini cloud of smoke burst forth from within him. A loud whining sound hit Rocket's ears and then a burst of bright light appears in the sky. A firework. The team **was **celebrating after all. Except...Rocket didn't feel like celebrating.

Tia didn't love him anymore. This had been apparent since a long time back now. The cracks in their relationship had reached the surface and everyone –especially Rocket and Tia- could see them. It still hurt to be told it though. To be told by the first girl he had loved that she didn't love him anymore. She cared for him, yes; it would be impossible for Tia not to care for Rocket, but the love had died. Rocket understood; he was a changed man since Netherball. There was something always not quite right about him. He was like a Picasso painting nowadays; all the pieces were still there, everything that made him was there...but they were skewed, distorted...not quite right.

What made Rocket all the more mournful was that he didn't love Tia anymore either. For some reason, Rocket felt he would have probably been happier if he still loved Tia. It would have made him feel a happier person because at least **he** wouldn't have given up. It was a selfish idea, but that was all part of the new Rocket...he was so much more selfish than before. Rocket despised this new him, if it even **was** the 'new' him. Rocket had the distinct feeling that this simply **was** who he was. Yes, Rocket was selfish. He was selfish and that was what had prompted Tia to tell him that she didn't love him anymore.

The announcement hadn't came over quiet words in a locked room, no, the announcement had been delivered in a screaming haze, tears spilling from the blonde's eyes as she yelled. The announcement had been forced out of Tia after she had discovered Rocket in bed with Mei. Yes...Rocket was selfish, but so too was Mei.

A wave of guilt crashed over the dark-skinned boy, making him feel slightly nauseas. Mei had come to his apartment crying. She had actually been expecting Tia, but she had, instead, been confronted with Rocket. This hadn't stopped the brunette from collapsing onto the former captain, however, and it did not stop her sniffling out her sadness into his chest. She and Sinedd had had another fight and he'd said cruel, cruel things. The types of things that only Sinedd would say to a girl such as Mei.

Rocket, who knew of Sinedd's nasty ways in only the way Mei and he would, had comforted her; telling her none of what Sinedd had said was true. He stopped short of saying Sinedd hadn't meant it...because Rocket knew Sinedd, and he knew Sinedd chose his words carefully. Sinedd was not like D'jok, who chose his words to bludgeon and bruise, no, Sinedd's words were like knives, cutting and twisting until he found the weakest point of you.

Mei had sniffed and sat up, and wiped her tears and cast him a watery smile. Rocket thought she looked beautiful like that. He liked that she needed him. Since D'jok had become captain, Rocket had felt less needed...and Tia, though she had always been independent, now seemed distant; it was understandable, but it still hurt Rocket. Also, whenever Tia cried...it was because of him. How could Rocket comfort her when he knew the reason she cried, and couldn't do anything about it?

But he could help Mei. Mei, who was smiling at him still; those big, blue eyes of hers slightly red.

"I'm sorry for laying all of this on you," she had said. "It's not fair."

Rocket had shook his head and then –and it happened so fast that even Rocket couldn't comprehend it- they were latched. Two lost souls. Rocket, who no longer loved 'the girl of his dreams' and Mei who was trapped with the bad boy and never felt loved anymore.

The kiss seemed to last for hours even though the way it happened had been so quick; Rocket darting forwards, his lips meeting Mei's. It was odd, Rocket thought to himself as he lay Mei down upon the sheets; he had never found Mei attractive before, he had thought she was too guarded, **too** knowledgeable about her beauty, but as she lay there, waiting for him to join her, he couldn't help but finally realise her beauty.

Tia had walked in just as Rocket's lips were upon Mei's stomach; a loud gasp alerted them both and they both sat up, looking shocked, looking caught in the act, though Rocket still couldn't quite comprehend what was occurring.

"You...you..." Tia had been struggling with the words, her delicate hands balled into quivering fists, her emerald eyes flickering from her best friend and then to her boyfriend.

"Tia..." Mei had murmured, she sounded dumbfounded and then she had looked at Rocket. Her eyes widened in horror, as if she was just now comprehending what she had done, and then she leapt up. "Tia, I-"

But Tia didn't want to listen. "Get out." she had hissed quietly, her eyes fixed on a spot above Rocket's head.

Mei moved quietly, picking up her essentials, her eyes darting around the room. Rocket didn't take his eyes off Tia. What had he done? Why had he done it? He and Tia weren't in love anymore, but that wasn't a reason to sleep with Mei. Mei had been crying, needing comfort...but he had been in his right mind.

Rocket let out a heavy sigh as he remembered. Maybe he really was just selfish. He didn't love Mei that was for sure. Was he just a greedy bastard? No...Rocket didn't think he was. A little niggling doubt in the back of his mind made him wonder if it was all about glory, but Rocket pushed that aside; not wishing to admit that perhaps he was truly that low.

The yelling had started when Rocket had went to speak. Tia had interrupted; telling him to be quiet, and then she had yelled, and the tears had came pouring out. She was crying at the hopelessness of the situation, Rocket had realised; she was crying because even though she had gone so far to save him he had just fallen straight back into the pit. She was crying about every wasted moment, every single thing she had admitted to him, every kiss, every night spent together, every moment of longing, every moment she had loved him.

She deserved better than him; he had said this to her. She had nodded at this, and finally Rocket realised that everyone had already known that. Tia had already known this...Rocket had been the only one unaware...that was how selfish he was. That was how changed he was.

* * *

><p><em>Right, so I've been gone for ages. So sorry! But Indecisive-Ays –as the little prompter she is- gave me a prompt and so I had to fulfil it. This is definitely not what she probably had in mind. I'm sooooorrry! The prompt was anything RocketXMei, but somehow I turned it into some angsty TiaXRocket with a bit of MeiXRocket thrown in. I'm seriously sorry, and if you want me to write another one, indecisive, I definitely will. I'm sorry if this sucks; I haven't written on FF for yonks D: R&amp;R?<em>


End file.
